parenting cycle

"When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." - The Talmud

I read this quote today and it made a huge impact on me. The way I behave and react towards my son is crucial not only because it's going to shape him, but it will define how he will raise his children. It's all a cycle. I can't allow myself to forget how I want to raise him. I need to take control of the situation instead of letting it control me.

Terrible twos are hitting hard. That on top of this underlying fear of Autism that's eating me up inside. He's just so defiant now. Tantrums galore. Ear bleeding screams (aah those are the worst lol.) Nothing I do works and I'm tired of time outs with no results. With that being said; I do not want to spank. Despite feeling helpless and pinned between spanking or no discipline I know there has to be a way. There has to!! I have to control my emotions more than anything. I can't allow myself to be overcome by the frustration. I can't imagine how frustrated he has to be without being able to tell me what's wrong or express himself fully without a vocabulary to use.

Library here I come! Parenting books have always helped me and while I don't agree with everything I've read in the past a lot of the time I've been pointed in the right direction. Every kid is different...and mine is an extreme oddball lol. I have to be able to handle his individuality and needs the way he NEEDS them handled.

And there's my rant for the night. =]